Give Peas a Chance: Hilarious “Reviews” for Paula Deen’s English Peas

24 May

By Molly Norton

Oooh! Snap! Virtual flash-mobbers descend on FoodNetwork.com.

This has nothing to do with Portland being the New Food Eden, but doggone it, it’s funny. Check out the “reviews” for Paula Deen’s English Peas on FoodNetwork.com. (Props to @DaveAtNORTH for this one)

Here’s a “pea”k at some of the brilliant commentary. It’s all about substitutions.

Peas (with a half a stick uh buttah)

By nonsense

“My kids were getting pretty tired of plain old veggies for dinner, so I thought I’d give this one a try. Delicioso! Even my picky toddler gobbled it up. I made a couple of substitutions. I was out of butter, so I used Cheez Whiz. And my husband absolutely hates peas, so I used a bag of Doritos instead (Tacos at Midnight flavor). What a hit! Thanks, Paula.”

By paschabloomington

“This was outstanding! I did make a couple modifications. I eliminated the butter, and in place of the peas I substituted one can of Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs.”

By india lima foxtrot

“This was fantastic! I didn’t have these ingredients on hand, so instead of butter I used vodka. I traded peas for an olive and iced it down instead of heating it up. I’m still hungry, but who cares!!”

By bitey

“As a veteran of the U.S. Armed Services, I found I could not enjoy “English Peas”. It felt unpatriotic. I wish you would post a recipe for “American Peas” instead. My neighbor tells me that I can modify this recipe by adding the other 1/2 stick of butter and get “American Peas” that way, but she lets her rottweiler poop in my yard I KNOW IT’S YOU, EVELYN and then denies it, so I can’t really trust her. A little feedback here?”

Hope Paula and the Food Network appreciate the joke as much as we do…

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